Monthly Archives: April 2014

overcomeLast week’s article in Forbes magazine by Perianne Boring The Death of The Care Industry and Eternal Life Online  prompted a predicted limited response from funeral directors (at least from sources like LinkedIn, Facebook and the blog world) although the LinkedIn Connecting site provided excellent opinionated responses from a few funeral professionals.  I had personal conversations with several others regarding not only the contents of the article, but the loud and clear silence of rebuttal opportunity to what I consider an expose’ that did not shed the best light on the funeral industry i.e., a paragraph heading of  “The Veil Of Secrecy in Funeral Homes.”

My personal position is that Ms. Boring wrote an excellent piece using several sources from Caleb Wilde, the Federal Trade Commission, Jessica Mitford, Consumer Reports and others.  If funeral directors are upset by the article, I remember a saying “I don’t make the news, I only report the news” and those of us in the funeral profession should not “shoot the messenger” but take note of what is revealed in the article.

My take away is that frankly, what was reported is not “new news.”  Guess what?  There is inflation in the funeral industry, the FTC makes regulations that are regularly broken by rogues, funeral homes are for profit businesses, funeral home practices have evolved over the years, the advent of the internet and social media are providing more exposure to once limited funeral home information.  And, oh yeah; it’s expensive to die.  

What is not generally known about me is that I have spent some time and have experience in the Hospitality Industry.  I have family that has developed, managed, owned, operated, bought and sold hotels with an impeccable reputation in the hotel business for decades.  My personal mentor in life and business, J.E. “Buddy” Watson, provided me insight along with opportunity to periodically work alongside him.  The exposure of brand standards, training, management, development, construction, capital raising (private equity, venture capital, legal requirements, etc.) actually was the impetus for me developing the Family Choice Funerals & Cremations brand of funeral service.

turn downHave you ever seen a J.W. Marriott hotel, a full service Marriott hotel, a Marriott Courtyard, a Marriott Residence Inn and a Marriott Fairfield Inn in the same cluster near each other and wonder why?  Well, it’s because each of those brands represent a different customer segment.  The contrast of the full service product with amenities like convention/meeting space, full restaurants and a bar significantly differ from the limited service hotel with basic check in, basic breakfast offering, etc.  Additionally, the rooms are appointed according to the level of what the consumer is willing to pay.  But remember; the fundamental purpose for a hotel is simply a place to sleep away from home.  

So now, it’s time for me to hone in on my point and take away from the Forbes article.  The hotel industry and funeral industry are similar, but many in the funeral industry have not figured this out yet or at least refuse to acknowledge such.  When funeral practitioners like Caleb Wilde shared in the article that his family of funeral directors shifted from “residence/home funeral service” to body removal from the residence to the funeral home, that was a big deal for the industry.  Interesting how residential indoor plumbing began to emerge around the same time making one wonder if removing waste from the home was then considered “new and modern.”

Many funeral practitioners changed their modus operandi; instead of embalming, casketing and setting up the residence for a funeral they built a location to perform all the work.  It’s now a rarity to have embalming and other funeral services provided by funeral directors at residences.  Many of the funeral homes were also residences of the funeral directors, truly exemplifying “family owned and operated.”  Over the years, I suppose funeral homes decided that they did not want to “funeralize” in their own homes, so the advent of the modern day funeral home was developed and built.

Some of the “family inhabited” and “new location” buildings are still in existence; but the buildings are now a real estate burden because the consumer community served back in the 50’s and 60’s has changed.  I have been to many a funeral home that is struggling due to changing of the local clientele change and the real estate value plummeting along with their business.  In contrast, the modern day funeral home is quite different from the early “new location” buildings.  Some of these “funeral homes” resemble resorts or very expensive hotels with fine amenities, well-appointed furnishings, lush manicured grounds, a huge chapel, fleets of expensive automobiles, catering/event areas exuding elegance and the finest surrounding to honor a loved one.  Others are more modest with functional meeting rooms, a chapel, and the basic necessities for service funeral consumers, just a bit smaller.  An emerging type of funeral provider, disdainfully called “discounters” by many funeral royalty, are minimal facilities that may even be located in an old shopping center, but often offer the same products and services as the others without all the amenities.

open casket 1Providing these descriptions of hotels and funeral homes…are you seeing the similarities (besides both industries provide turndown service)? Which charges more for service; the full service J.W. Marriott or the Marriott Fairfield Inn? The well-appointed “full service funeral home” or the so called “discounter?”  A number of resources are available online to compare prices of hotels which include their own brand reservation sites like competing with and Travelocity.  A consumer is now trained to research online for information, pricing and comparisons looking for the best value for their particular stay.  Conversely, if a consumer is seeking the same about funeral homes (a permanent stay product) their resources are limited.  My friend and fellow funeral industry entrepreneur, Ellery Bowker, owner of Directors Advantage reported that only 8% of US funeral homes provide pricing on their website. Ryan Thogmartin of Disrupt Media Group and the popular Connecting website is considered the funeral industry “Guru” of social media.  Funeral homes are still reluctant to engage social media professionals like Ryan to provide consumers information to make an educated decisions.

Captain ObivousIn recent history, the hotel industry had either a full or limited service product but has now evolved with extended stay, suites and other offerings based on the consumer demand.  The funeral industry has basically provides for two categories of full service (like a J.W. Marriott or Ritz Carlton and full service Marriott) or a limited service (like Marriott Courtyard or Fairfield Inn).  If you shop online, sometimes you can find a full service hotel for a limited service price (ask my fellow Captain, Captain Obvious of the website).  The same consumer shopping for services is more commonplace in the funeral industry, but the results are not the same due to as the Forbes article and Ellery Bowker point out, a “Veil Of Secrecy” still exists purposely by funeral homes not listing their prices online…forcing a consumer to actually visit the funeral home location for the coveted and FTC-mandated General Price List.

The lack of response by funeral directors about the Forbes article may be due to the inability to adjust their practices to consumer demands such as the hotel industry has.  Basically, a “full service funeral home” has all the amenities one could want and charges appropriately for the goods and services…even if the consumer doesn’t have a desire for such.  Ever heard the phrase, “Spend a Night, Not a Fortune?”  Well, my mentor, Buddy Watson actually coined that phrase back in the 70’s for a hotel chain.  So could the phrase, “Pay a Tribute, Not a Fortune” be an appropriate message to consumers about making their funeral plans?

When spending a night in a hotel; a consumer has the choice of the finest of amenities and services or lack thereof based on their own value proposition. At death; burial or cremation, a consumer has the choice of the finest of amenities and services or lack thereof based on their own value proposition.  Either way, the emergence of savvy, limited service funeral and online funeral service providers will continue to capture growing market share.  Factually there will always be a market for the full service hotels and funeral homes and there are more limited service hotels than full service to meet the demand of the consumer.

Finally, the gap of funeral consumers that have the financial means or desire to use full service funeral homes are diminishing.  Consumers that either are financially struggling or don’t find value in the full service funeral product are increasing.  The funeral service providers that figure out how to meet the needs of the increasing segment of funeral consumer with immediate transparent information and desired product will flourish in the next several years of increasing death numbers due to population along with technology for spreading their message.  Take note of other industries and how they evolved successfully…the death care industry is not dead, it’s just “going through the change.” Cheers y’all.


where are you going Over the Easter weekend I had the pleasure of relaxing and reading a periodical with a feature about a map collector.  I  was intrigued learning how important maps are to our society and the stories gleaned from what is now considered  art.  My thoughts gravitated to my experiences with maps and how the use of maps have changed in our society.

As a young Officer Candidate earning my commission, I had to learn map reading and land navigation.  In addition to  the classroom portion being educated about saddles, ridges and the like; we were required to put our knowledge to  practicum in the field.  Both day and night land navigation using a compass in conjunction with a topographical map to find designated points for a go/no go.   A no go meant retraining and retesting of the course…a second failure was immediate removal from Officers Candidate School. To tell you how times have changed; my son graduated from Army Infantry training now too long ago…map reading?  Nah; GPS. My thoughts here are that if a leader cant read a map and know where they are going, how can they possibly lead others?  Have you ever worked for someone that never took “map reading” much less actually tried to traverse successfully through the “forest?”

I remember taking family trips and looking at the map for the route to our destination.  Interesting, my dad would let me “navigate” although we were traveling up or down I-95 and getting lost was not much of a possibility.  However, I have a distinct memory of tracking the exits and trying to know exactly where we were and estimating the that we would arrive at our destination.  Today?  GPS is on the car, the mobile phone and tablet all telling the techy inhabitants of my car all they need to know about our location…but. I’m the Dad….we’re still not stopping.

We have become a society in some cases blindly reliant on technology and tossing aside what history has taught us in the past.  Basically; do a little homework.and take a look for yourself, on any subject.  The longer I live the more intrigued I am to witness so many traveling to nowhere, all so busy, and just accepting the direction from the digital source as gospel.  Does the GPS in our phones and such have a reverse?  I mean…it tells us where to go…but not where we came from.  Sometimes that’s pretty important information.

From my experience I believe that reading the map prior to taking a journey and using GPS is a good idea.  Don’t think so?  For a laugh take a look at the video below. Cheers y’all!


who pays Who pays funeral costs? As part of an ongoing conversation on this funeral blog the debate continues regarding payments for  funeral and cremation services by consumers.  Traditionally, the burden of making sure that a deceased person’s funeral bill is  paid to appropriate entities such as the funeral home and cemetery are primarily upon the deceased’s survivors.  However, a  growing trend is shifting from family to governmental agency responsibility and expectation of services without securing  necessary payment.

Are choices of disposition based on the amount of funds available to be paid for services?  Rising costs of funeral goods and services are no different from any other; a hotel room or an oil change all cost more than even 5 years ago.  Payment for goods and services are secured promptly or you don’t get your room key or car keys returned. From these two analogies, are funeral professionals compelled to “give the room key” or “returning the car keys after the oil change” without payment?  In essence, if a consumer can’t pay for a particular hotel room or vehicle service, then they can’t get the same level of accommodations or the vehicle service desired. Why the expectation that funeral proprietors should provide desired level of services without equal payment for such services?

The subject and issue is not going away…the “I am struggling to pay” segment of consumer is growing faster than “can I write you a check, use my credit card or use the life insurance” consumer.  What is your experience?  Cheers y’all.

ashes in cremationThe question continues to arise; is there DNA in cremated remains? The fact is no DNA in cremation remains of humans which are properly cremated. Cremation temperatures in the retort range from 1400-1800 degrees and any of the organic compounds, which contain the nucleotides to derive viable strands of DNA necessary to perform the test, are destroyed.  The conversation is growing along with the rate of cremation…know the answers.

Perseverance“I’m convinced that about half of what separates successful entrepreneurs from the non-successful ones is pure  perseverance.”-Steve Jobs  

Rather than writing my usual recalcitrant views and complaining about the funeral industry woes, this funeral blog post is dedicated to OPTIMISM! If you are a funeral home owner, funeral director, funeral attendant, pre-need salesperson, or work at a funeral home; if you had unlimited capital, intellectual and technology resources at your beck and call…what would you invent?  Would you rather work 80 hours for yourself or 40 hours for someone else? Come on…let’s hear from you…what DO YOU WANT TO INVENT? Cheers y’all!

jackass Upon return and reflection from ICCFA in Las Vegas, I realize how our new world communicates.  Having a funeral blog  has provided me a platform for soliciting ideas, sharing experiences and observations with other funeral industry  professionals.  Most important, a funeral blog provides an opportunity, when positioned and utilized correctly, to get to  know each other in our new world order by using of social media.

During the ICCFA and on the Expo floor, face to face introductions to people from Australia, Ireland, Canada, Sweden and even Indiana (snicker) were so much easier…conversations flowed as if we were long time associates. In a way, we are because of our new way of communicating.

I am blessed to work alongside and have a personal relationship Ryan Thogmartin of and Disrupt Media.  Ryan is unequivocally the guru of social media for the funeral industry.  I shared with Ryan last week my fascination of the power of blogging, LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter as mediums for brand building along communicating intended messages.  In his “wizard way” of explaining all of the connectivity to so many in the funeral industry, I’m still amazed how few actually still do not take advantage of social media for their companies.

So, my first post upon return from the 2014 ICCFA I will provide testament that a funeral blog is an extremely effective tool to communicate your message and platform.  As for me, I enjoy sharing from my experiences as an entrepreneur in the funeral industry, observations of behavior mixed with a splash of humor and natural recalcitrant thoughts about “established norms” that so many subject themselves.

If you are one that reads and so many other funeral blog writers like Caleb Wilde, Nancy Burbon, Kate Hamilton, Jeff Staab, Ellery Bowker, Kim Stacey & Jess Fowler…thank you for providing us a platform for communicating.  If you are one that keeps blindly going in circles wondering how “everything seems to be changing” but you’re not, well keep waiting for that monthly newsletter in the mail.  Cheers y’all!



dna newsThe subject of DNA continues to surface in the news.  Just recently a headline story, “Did Adolf Hitler marry a Jewish woman? DNA tests ‘show Eva Braun associated with Ashkenazi Jews’ was published (see link below).   For the funeral industry, DNA is a relatively new discussion.  Although, the facts are that the cremation process is irreversible (unlike exhuming a body after burial) and the fact that all DNA trace is destroyed by cremation.  Both of these facts are widely known by all practitioners in the funeral industry.

So the question arises are funeral and cremation providers offering these important facts to the families they are serving?  Currently there are no laws or regulatory requirements to provide this information; however do we have an ethical obligation to do so?  I believe that in our litigious society we may have this point undoubtedly tested in the future.

During funeral arrangements, notifying family members that “cremation is irreversible and DNA is destroyed” is a simple, important step that may provide a family with at least the opportunity to make a decision prior to finality.  Cheers y’all.

tablet pc, mobile phone and laptop When you send email to someone or a company, how long does it take for a response acknowledging receipt of your  inquiry?  Just in the last 48 hours, I sent emails direct to people and made inquiries to companies to purchase their  services or products.  Guess what?  No response. I know people are busy, however busy is not an excuse for poor  manners.  I personally know people that are very busy, successful and run large multifaceted companies that routinely respond to me in a timely manner.

It is not unusual for me to receive more than fifty emails, texts, calls and other messages in a day.  When I receive a message, especially a message that someone took the time to personally reach out to me, then I promptly at least acknowledge receipt.  Fascinating to me is that we are offered instantaneous communication tools such as phones, text messaging, Skype, email, and the like, yet we have a failure of response time.  With all this instant technology at our disposal, why then does it take so long?

Why?  Because we are in an era of poor business behaviors and manners!  If you don’t believe it, how many times have you called someone asking the question “did you get my email?”  You are calling to find out one of 2 things; either their technology doesn’t work or they simply ignored your message and did not respond.  How difficult is it to reply “I received your message, but I’m not able to respond right now…I’ll get back to you on this in <give a time>?”

I want to challenge those that read this post.  First; respond to inquiries in a timely manner…just send a personal quick acknowledgement of receipt, and then follow up as you said you would.  If you are really late responding (over 48 hours), say so and apologize. Second; when someone does not respond to your inquiry in a timely manner, call them out on it.  If they say they are so busy that they could not take the time to at least acknowledge you, ask them if you or your business has any level of respect and why you should continue the relationship?

You’re just not that busy; you’re rude and lack business manners.  Cheers y’all.

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