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Monthly Archives: June 2016

I posted this a few years back and continue to travel quite a bit. It’s now vacation summer season and I’d like to share this humorous look at how I see things from my view…enjoy!

The Funeral Commander~Jeff Harbeson

plane I spend more time in hotel beds than I do in my own bed at home.    When someone asks me where I live, I generally reply “Marriott.”  For  those that don’t travel regularly making their living and think it’s  glamorous, well it’s simply not.  I’m on a plane as I write this and I just  have so share with you observations about our fellow humans at  airports.

Alright folks, it’s the 21’st century and you should be able to slide your credit card in a “computer machine,” read the instructions, and touch the screen when directed…it’s something most 1st graders can do now.  Anyone not aware that you must go through security prior to gaining access to the boarding gate?  Why doesn’t it register with some that the articles of clothing worn, items that are packed, and the bags that are carried will affect the process of getting…

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WTF 17

I rarely call out funeral homes by name simply because they usually know who they are when I write particular content. However, the high and mighty at Lindquist Mortuaries in Ogden, Utah gets a special Funeral Commander shout out! Wendy Thoresen Green was interviewed by the Standard Examiner, a newspaper in Ogden, UT  with title Meet ‘Funeral Lady,’ a Pleasant View woman who loves all things funeral-related. Linquist, WTF (What The Funeral) are you thinking by distancing  yourself from talent within your own funeral home? Please read an excerpt from the article:

Today, Green sells funeral plans for a local mortuary. We say “local mortuary” because, frankly, her boss would prefer his company not be named in a piece about Green and her obsession. She’s been called “eccentric” and “definitely not mainstream” in an industry where eccentricity and deviation from that stream isn’t exactly the dignified image mortuaries are trying to project

Now you boys don’t get your starched underwear in a wad; the article was published and as usual, I’m just pointing out the obvious.  See, we in the funeral industry are inquiring minds, we just want to know.

“Loves all things funeral related” seems to be a great headline, however this particular crowd doesn’t see it that way. Is passion and a calling into the funeral industry consdiered an “obsession?” Definition of Eccentric: (of a person or their behavior) unconventional and slightly strange. (“My favorite aunt is very eccentric.”) Maybe Wendy is not mainstream in Ogden Utah, but I shudder at the thought of what that definition may include in those parts of our country.

I have a question for the Lindquist’s Mortuary leaders: After looking at your website (with no social media links whatsoever) and seeing your staff, why are there no female funeral directors listed? Are women only relegated to pre-need sales and general staff… is that what you consider mainstream? Another question: Why you would be ashamed of someone like Wendy who projects a positive image for the funeral industry? Why wouldn’t Lindquist’s Mortuary proudly boast about such a devoted and dedicated employee?  Certainly no retribution will come as a result of her sharing her heart to the community.

Ok, all you non-Neanderthals in the business, how about let’s show the value of women in our industry and teach something about social media to the “He-man Woman Haters Club” in Ogden! I implore you to comment, post, and share this story on Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter. Unfortunately, it appears the “leaders” don’t know much about this interweb social thing.  However, we can shed light on the darkness of their “mainstream.”

From the Command Post (West) and thick fog of cigar smoke along with being a bit pissed off about how backwards people try to push down achievers…Cheers Y’all!  #thefuneralcommander

 

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The answer, “We’ve always done it that way.”  The question, “What do funeral home owners say when their market share is declining, profits are dwindling, and business in a downward spiral?”  Really?!  Can’t we agree that, by definition, this is insanity – doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results?  Wake The Funeral up!

I am continuously astounded when I talk with funeral home owners and listen to their reluctance to address the real problems they are facing in their businesses.  “I just don’t think I can get our directors to do that” and “It’s never worked in the past” are common laments.  Both statements indicate that the Inmates are running your asylum.  You may be in worse shape than you think!

At some point you are going to want to sell or transfer your business and the value is going to be less than you expect.  Lackadaisical leadership (aka poor business management) is the root cause of funeral home financial failure.  Even more interesting is that owners know they have problems but fail to hire professionals to resolve issues.  If you are a funeral home owner and your profit margin is less than 8%, you have no Human Resources manual or consistent training for your staff, and you have any accounts receivable over 60 days: I AM TALKING TO YOU!

I find it amusing that you, funeral home owners, consistently opine, “People now-a-days just don’t plan and find themselves in a mess scrambling to pay when death occurs.” Funny thing, Mr./Ms. Funeral Home Owner, you are just as bad.  Take a look at your profit margin, accounts receivable, cremation vs. burial revenues, and market share.  Are you planning for what’s ahead or just doing the same thing you have always done?

Snap out of it!  The first step in getting well is to acknowledge something is wrong. Congratulations if you’ve done so – you’re half way there.  Now, get well!  Raise your hand and ask for help…email jeff@f4sight.com and let’s chat.  From the Command Post (West) in the cigar bunker, Cheers Y’all! #thefuneralcommander

 

 

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I recently had the opportunity to attend a professional baseball game in Phoenix.  Besides sitting in great seats in an air conditioned stadium (the only problem was the lack of a cigar bar), I enjoyed watching the preparation of the players prior to the first pitch.  Guess what?  Highly paid professional baseball players were taking batting practice, fielding balls and throwing to warm up.  If pro baseball players practice, why don’t professional funeral directors?

I’m not talking about CEU’s where you doodle on the handout and spend most of the session on your smartphone chatting about how bored you are. I’m talking about training.  The funeral industry has falsely manifested the notion that CEU’s are training.  They are not. They are education.   Consider the difference in reading about how to throw a strike from 60 feet versus getting on the mound and actually doing it.  Do you think that you may have to spend time honing your craft?   Unfortunately, I see and know of many instances where funeral directors are throwing lots of balls nowhere near the plate.  Behavior modification is achieved through practice and consistent work on perfecting any particular segment of our business.

I am certain that the “you don’t know what you’re talking about” crowd is reading this with a mindset that redundancy in performance negates the need for training or practice.  What if you are doing it wrong in the first place?  How many of you offer the GPL at the proper time and in the prescribed fashion required by the FTC?   The fact that the FTC reports annually that about 25% of all funeral homes are in some violation regarding the GPL presentation is damning proof.  “We’ve always done it that way” does not reduce the fine levied on you by the Government.

We all know that when a funeral director goes into the arrangement room and closes the door, they have their own way of doing things, right or wrong.  How many owners/managers take the time to sit in on arrangements to measure performance of things like presentation of the GPL, the discussion of the payment policy, explanation of products, and services?  Does your firm even have a standard for the arrangement process that a funeral director should follow?  I’m not suggesting “gotcha” stuff; I am asking how do you know WTF (What the Funeral) is going on in there if you don’t take the time to observe?  There is a saying “expect what you inspect.”  Of course, if you have no roadmap or process for the director to follow, then Mr. /Ms. funeral home owner/manager…that’s on you.

Here’s a challenge:  Tell me what problem in leading a funeral home could not be solved with training and practice?  Throwing even the most seasoned funeral director on the mound to pitch a perfect game is not providing the leadership necessary to have consistent success.  If you own/manage a funeral home, it’s your responsibility to create a continuous improvement culture.  If you are a funeral director and you don’t have any leadership in your firm, ask and take the lead.  Taking 15-20 minutes once or twice a week is absolutely possible but only if leadership exists.

Our funeral directors train at least twice per week on a myriad of different subjects for the short time period I described.  If you want to know more, email me jeff@f4sight.com and we can discuss how to initiate a training program at your firm.  From the Command Post (West) through the fog of cigar smoke, Cheers Y’all!  #thefuneralcommander

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